To coincide with men’s health campaign Movember and the launch of England’s first Men’s Health Strategy, two men have shared their experiences to encourage others to come forward if they need help with mental health struggles.
Mark and Simon are part of Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust’s (EPUT) Personality Disorder and Complex Needs Service User Network (SUN). They volunteer with the SUN’s Service Development Collaborative, a group of service users and carers who help the clinical team shape and design mental health services.
Mark said: “I had been diagnosed with clinical depression and schizoaffective disorder at different points before being diagnosed with emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) 12 years ago.
“It took me a while to process and accept all of the different diagnoses, which added to the emotional burden I was already carrying.”
Just under 1% of the UK population are diagnosed with EUPD (also known as borderline personality disorder), according to the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence.
More women than men are diagnosed. Recent research suggests this may be because historically EUPD is seen as affecting women more than men, and because men display symptoms in a different way to women.
Men with EUPD are more likely to show visible symptoms such as aggression, impulsivity, risk-taking and substance misuse. This can be mistaken for other conditions, such as antisocial personality disorder, depression, or substance use.
Mark has found the best approach to managing the condition has been a combination of medication, therapy, community engagement, and open-mindedness.
He said: “Volunteering in the mental health sector and pursing my personal interests has been really helpful to me.
“At the same time, I know my limitations and recognise that no single coping strategy is universally effective.
“For me, maintaining balance in my life, practising self-care, and continuing to access professional support are essential to my ongoing recovery.”
Simon was diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder in 2022, after seven years of trying to get a diagnosis. He was initially diagnosed with stress and anxiety in his early 20s.
He said: “I was prescribed medication but I sensed I was experiencing something deeper than stress and anxiety. I had been struggling with a gambling addiction from a young age and when my mental health was at it worse, I was gambling more than ever to create a sense of control.
“I later suffered several breakdowns but did not seek further help because I did not feel mental health services at the time had been able to help me.”
He sought help again following three bereavements. He went through a course of Dialectical Behavioural Therapy and was eventually diagnosed with complex PTSD. He referred himself to Therapy for You and this was the real start to his recovery journey.
Simon said: “I then completed a peer support worker training programme, which made me realise it wasn’t only me that was going through what I was going through.
“I know men can find it difficult to seek help, and if their symptoms are misunderstood or misdiagnosed it can discourage them further and push them towards unhelpful coping mechanisms.
“It’s so important that people get the right help at the right time. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it and don’t give up.”
Now semi-retired, Simon spends much of his time volunteering with mental health and charity organisations.
He said: “I volunteer in any capacity of service design, patient safety or sharing my experiences, which can make a contribution to improving services. I take part in interviews, get involved in co-producing service redesigns, and I am always happy to talk about my experiences.
“The SUN draws together people with varying levels of engagement in a comfortable space where everyone can talk freely and know they are listened to.
“There is a lot of openness in the meetings, and when you hear someone talking about their personal experience it makes you understand that there are genuinely people who share your experience, which is very supportive!”
Research by BUPA published earlier this year shows half of men in the UK have suffered poor mental health at one time or another. However almost 65% of people surveyed felt there was still a stigma attached to men’s mental health, and nearly a third of men didn’t know where to go to for advice.
Figures from the Office of National Statistics show that three times as many men as women die as a result of suicide and suicide is one of the leading causes of death for men under 50.
The Men’s Health Strategy, which was launched by the Government earlier this month, includes a focus on suicide prevention and breaking down the barriers that men face in seeking support. You can read more about it here.
Mike Buss, a facilitator for the SUN, said: “With so many men in the UK losing their lives to suicide, I believe it’s more important than ever for us to reach out for help when we’re struggling.
“I know that stigma around men’s mental health still exists, but I’ve also seen that those barriers are slowly being broken down. There is more support available now than ever before.
“Whether it’s talking to a family member or friend, reaching out to a professional, or connecting with a men’s peer support group or charity, help is out there.
“We just have to find the strength to take that first step.
“Being a man doesn’t mean we don’t feel pain or vulnerability. It means recognising that we all need support sometimes, and having the courage to ask for it is one of the strongest things we can do.”
The Movember charity runs Movember every November to raise awareness of men’s mental and physical health. Find out more on the Movember website.
You can find out more about the Personality Disorder and Complex Needs Service Service User Network on their webpage.