“My therapy sessions have become an important part of my recovery following pregnancy loss.”

This Baby Loss Awareness Week, Gemma Garstang, of Stansted Mountfitchet, shares her experiences accessing EPUT’s (Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust) By Your Side service, which supports women and birthing parents who have experienced a perinatal loss, and have struggled with their mental health as a result.

The loss of a baby is a devastating experience that can bring a range of thoughts, feelings and responses, which can feel confusing, bewildering and isolating. 

Baby Loss Awareness Week is an event of great meaning for many, and it also marked the one-year anniversary of the launch of By Your Side.

By Your Side is a maternal mental health service provided by EPUT, in collaboration with midwifery colleagues, which offers therapeutic care and grief therapy for people who were pregnant and have experienced a perinatal loss. The team aims to help people with their loss, being by your side during a devastating time.

Gemma was referred to By Your Side by the bereavement team at Princess Alexandra Hospital, following a miscarriage. Gemma was between eight and nine weeks pregnant, and had suffered multiple pregnancy losses before this.

Gemma said: “I was feeling a whole range of emotions including upset, disappointment, anger, despair, confusion and emptiness. I needed support as my mental health was greatly impacted by the loss.

“My therapy sessions have become an important part of my recovery and are helping me to move forward following pregnancy loss. I have learnt different techniques to enable me to deal with my depression.

“The most impactful thing I learnt is that it is ok not to be ok, and that I need to think of myself and protect my own feelings instead of putting everyone else first. 

“I feel empowered to remove myself from situations that are detrimental to my recovery and mental health, whereas before I would allow myself to be in difficult situations because I felt like I had no choice.

“I am very grateful to the service and I have made a lot of progress. I feel the service is patient led and it has been very easy to access, while being flexible around my work schedule.

“By Your Side has continued to support me through recurrent miscarriage investigations with Tommy's charity, which has helped me to navigate my emotions throughout my ongoing journey. 

“Please do reach out for support if you are struggling with pregnancy loss or baby loss. There is nothing to be afraid of - it can help change your thought processes and enable you to move forward with your life. It doesn't mean you will, or that you need to, forget about your loss, but it does help to talk about how you feel and to understand that your feelings are valid.”

Read more about the service and its achievements on the EPUT website. For more information, including regarding referrals and other support available, please visit the By Your Side web page.